Blessings - Day 2 followup

As I left work and headed for the gym, my son called and asked if his friends could come over and hang out at the house. Since I was going to the gym, they decided to go to one of the other kids homes. Mom must be home. As I finished my workout and was driving home, he called again and asked if they could now go to our house. I offered to pick them all up on the way back.

After I hung up, I realized... I have to feed these kids! And they really aren't kids. They are 15 & 17 year olds. The other moms have so graciously fed my son many times recently as they've made the house-to-house-to-house stops. I picked them up, stopped by the grocery store, grabbed a few things, and went home to cook a very good enchilada, rice, bean-dip, chip supper. They ate every bite up and thanked me many times telling me it was a delicious meal. I even made brownie-cookies for dessert.

As I cooked, I realized... hey! This is my "blessing"! An unexpected blessing at that! And I received it happily!! I had not planned on cooking a big meal for everyone, yet I had the opportunity to and was happy to do it. Amazing how God plans these things.

So... my FB post last night: "At 6:00 I agreed to feed dusten's 4 buddies. Quick thinking and a quick stop at W/D and we all ate home-made bean dip, chips n enchiladas. Brownies are in the oven. Fun times! Guess that counts as being a blessing."

Blessings - Day 2

So last night at 2:00am, I got up to use the bathroom (too personal? Probably). My mind went to the thought of blessings again. I wondered what unexpected blessing I would receive the next day. Then the thought occurred to me that I should be a blessing to someone else! I shouldn't expect God to always give me unexpected blessings. The daily blessings I receive are wonderful and amazing. Do you stop and "count your blessings" often enough?
My bed, house, clothes, stuff in my house, a/c (LOVE that one), plumbing, electricity, phones, my car, my finances, job, son, family, pleasures in life, and freedom. SOOO many more. So many we take for granted every day.

I have been blessed lately to be able to be a blessing to others at times. It feels wonderful when I do. Years ago, a co-worker bought my lunch. I tried to pay for it and he repeatedly said "no" then finally said "Don't rob me of my blessing!" I like that saying. I like that idea.

So today on my FB wall, I posted:

"We are blessed when we can be a blessing to others. Today I'll look for ways to BE that blessing!"

Now I watch and wait to see who I can bless today.

Many blessings - Day 1

As I sat contemplating what to write on my FB wall yesterday, I decided to write something encouraging about blessings. Not the everyday blessings we all come to expect and take for granted, but the unexpected blessings. So here is what I wrote.

"Another day. What unexpected blessings await us? With God... you just never know! Keep your eyes and ears open. And don't EVER limit Him!"

I thought about it a couple of times in the day. Hoped it might have encouraged someone. Then when it was time for bed, I reviewed my day and realized I had received an unexpected blessing and didn't even realize it (that's what typically happens, isn't it?). I put it on my FB wall.

"My unexpected blessing today: easily found humor and felt no stress as I spent 90% of my day dealing with my failing laptop. Might not mean much to some, but it sure does to me!"

And that truly was unexpected. My entire day consisted of setbacks and sidetracks, but I was in a great mood and laughed about it all. I handled it as best I could and figured I needed to do some computer house-keeping anyway. I was thankful I had the time to do it.

Today I was a bit annoyed at having to use a substitute computer, but I got mine back around 2:00 and it was almost 100% fixed. My tech guy will come finish the job soon, I hope.

Moses is from Kenya

The Daraja African Children's Choir was at our church last Sunday. I was blessed to see them last year and got to spend time with 6 of the kids in a host home. They were SO loving and wonderful. This year, I was able to enjoy some of the boys in a host home on Saturday evening and again on Sunday evening. I can't tell you how happy these kids make me feel. They truly display the love of God in their hearts. He radiates in their faces.

Sunday evening, three of the boys shared their personal photo albums with us. We saw pictures of their home, their animals, their gardens, and their families. Such poverty. It broke my heart to know they would be returning to homes with no running water, refrigeration, or electricity in some cases. Yet in each of the pictures the boys were in, they had faces of true happiness. They might have a life that we consider difficult, but they were still happy.

I've heard it so many times before….and know it to be true. But we are terribly spoiled. And tremendously blessed. I just can't understand this world. Why some countries live in such poverty while others enjoy the land of plenty. And we constantly want more. I wonder how I can help these kids. How can my money help them? We can't change their government. We can't change the crime that occurs in their neighborhoods. Looking at the big picture, it seems hopeless. It seems all we did was show these kids what it's like to live in comfort and ease, then send them back to a new realization of how bad they really have it. Is that fair? I'm not sure it is. Yet at the same time, we've given them hope that their life might not always be that way. They can aspire to greater things. These few have an opportunity to rise above the rest.

My son and I became very attached to one particular little boy named Moses. He's 11. He is a happy, very comedic young man. And he loves to hug and be hugged. I want to help him. Not sure just how I can yet, but I'm going to try. I want him to know that once he returns to Africa, we have not forgotten him. He made a difference in our lives. He was not just a "receiver" of gifts while in the U.S., but he was a "giver." He, and all the Daraja kids blessed us.

This little story helps me put things into perspective.

The Starfish Thrower
One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, "What are you doing?" The youth replied, "Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them back, they'll die." "Son," the man said, "don't you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can't make a difference!" After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…
I made a difference for that one."

MAT... I PASSED!!!

Hooray!!! I finally took the test and passed!! I am so happy to have that behind me. Guess I wasn't "dumber than dirt" afterall. Seriously, the test wasn't as hard as the all the practice tests I took.

I'm still taking my first grad class. Doing okay, so far. Lots and lots of busy work. Think I'll continue to take things slow with only one class at a time...unless I can find some scholarship money!

MAT vs. My Brain

fact: I work at the University.
fact: I want to improve myself.
fact: I want to earn a Masters degree (which equals better job, better pay, better opportunites)
fact: It's going to be a long, hard road.

I’m studying for the MAT (Miller’s Analogies Test) so I can get into graduate school. I’ve never studied anything before that made me feel so stupid. I believe, right now, I would fail miserably on the television show “Are you smarter than a fifth grader?” There are so many things that I vaguely remember learning either in elementary school, high school, or even college… Now, I don’t remember most of it!! Where did all that knowledge go? Did it leak out on my pillow a little every night… til now I’m dumber than dirt? And there are so many words and phrases that I do not believe I’ve ever heard before.

Obviously the old saying "With age comes wisdom" is a bunch of ....... you know!

Such an overwhelming, humbling experience!

HERE and NOW!

Everyone is blogging! I think it would be fun to have a blog. But….What would I write about? I guess my life. But is it really interesting? Would anyone benefit from it? Parts of it, I guess. They say with age comes wisdom. Maybe a little. I’ve had two major events in my life: the birth and death of a very special boy, and I’ve escaped an abusive husband. I know I’m not the only person that has experienced either of these two things.

Maybe to get things started, I should write about the HERE and NOW. So what’s that look like? Well, I’m 44, separated, and living in a state I thought I’d never live in again. Living in a town I never planned on living in. Working at a place I never thought I’d work. Yet, it’s all okay. Alabama is ….different to say the least. Years ago, it was all I knew, so it wasn’t so different. Travel changes the way you look at things, though. And I’ve only traveled in the US and only a few states. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I had visited many more states, and even countries! Maybe that’s a separate subject for a blog….. The Perspective of the Untraveled, or How Travel Changed My Perspective.

Back to HERE and NOW…. I’m directing a video at work. Never thought I’d be doing that. But I am. And I think it’s going okay. I have a competent photographer that is helping me look good. I didn’t write the script from scratch, just had to modify and reduce a very detailed booklet. It's a safety video; nothing exciting. I’ve met a lot of people while creating this. Learned a lot about the campus. And I’ve had a little down time to take care of my personal business and reflect on my new life and the old life I left behind.

Now that’s a story…. 22 years married…. Now it’s gone. I didn’t even say goodbye. I didn’t tell him it was over. He knew. He knew when he was with our son and we were on the phone. He asked what was I going to let him do. I said he could come home, but then had to leave. I don’t remember if I said he could pack his things. I don’t remember much other than trying to be calm and nice since I was talking to our son, not him. I just said, yes, when you guys get here, we’ll talk, but he has to go.

I guess that wasn’t very detailed. I can see why he thought I’d have the police waiting to arrest him. He knew he deserved to be arrested. He knew I was finished. That was the last time he would ever hurt me physically. The last time I would sit quietly while he yelled at me. The last time he would threaten me. The last time he’d have control over me. It took a long time, but I was finally able to say, “enough is enough”.

I started over on November 3, 2007. I took charge of my life then. I took charge of my son's life then. Actually, I gave God charge over both our lives. I opened my eyes to what He wanted me to do. I asked Him to open specific doors. He didn’t. Instead, He opened others. He opened the doors that would lead to happiness and rest. The only way to describe that period of transition is to say I was like a small boat that had been through a terrible storm. I had fought the storm so much, that now that it was over, I was broken apart and unable to guide myself anywhere. I drifted and let the current (God) take me wherever it wanted to. Salvagers (my family) caught me in the current as I washed ashore and started the mending process.

So NOW, we’re HERE, in Alabama with family, new friends, and a new job. Financially, I am better off than I’ve been in years! I have a simple budget and we stick to it. I pay tithes. It feels so good to give back to God what He has trusted me with. And every month, He’s provided for our every need! Yes, my family helps us out. But I don’t ask for it. And I know we could make it without their help… but they sure make it easier! But we couldn't make it without their love, friendship, and support. God knew what He was doing when He created family! That’s a blog for another day!

Maybe I will keep this up. Even if no one reads it, it’s therapeutic for me! But, maybe, someone will read it. Someone who needs to know that there is life after abuse. There is hope. There is actually a very good life! Especially when Christ is the center of it!