HERE and NOW!

Everyone is blogging! I think it would be fun to have a blog. But….What would I write about? I guess my life. But is it really interesting? Would anyone benefit from it? Parts of it, I guess. They say with age comes wisdom. Maybe a little. I’ve had two major events in my life: the birth and death of a very special boy, and I’ve escaped an abusive husband. I know I’m not the only person that has experienced either of these two things.

Maybe to get things started, I should write about the HERE and NOW. So what’s that look like? Well, I’m 44, separated, and living in a state I thought I’d never live in again. Living in a town I never planned on living in. Working at a place I never thought I’d work. Yet, it’s all okay. Alabama is ….different to say the least. Years ago, it was all I knew, so it wasn’t so different. Travel changes the way you look at things, though. And I’ve only traveled in the US and only a few states. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I had visited many more states, and even countries! Maybe that’s a separate subject for a blog….. The Perspective of the Untraveled, or How Travel Changed My Perspective.

Back to HERE and NOW…. I’m directing a video at work. Never thought I’d be doing that. But I am. And I think it’s going okay. I have a competent photographer that is helping me look good. I didn’t write the script from scratch, just had to modify and reduce a very detailed booklet. It's a safety video; nothing exciting. I’ve met a lot of people while creating this. Learned a lot about the campus. And I’ve had a little down time to take care of my personal business and reflect on my new life and the old life I left behind.

Now that’s a story…. 22 years married…. Now it’s gone. I didn’t even say goodbye. I didn’t tell him it was over. He knew. He knew when he was with our son and we were on the phone. He asked what was I going to let him do. I said he could come home, but then had to leave. I don’t remember if I said he could pack his things. I don’t remember much other than trying to be calm and nice since I was talking to our son, not him. I just said, yes, when you guys get here, we’ll talk, but he has to go.

I guess that wasn’t very detailed. I can see why he thought I’d have the police waiting to arrest him. He knew he deserved to be arrested. He knew I was finished. That was the last time he would ever hurt me physically. The last time I would sit quietly while he yelled at me. The last time he would threaten me. The last time he’d have control over me. It took a long time, but I was finally able to say, “enough is enough”.

I started over on November 3, 2007. I took charge of my life then. I took charge of my son's life then. Actually, I gave God charge over both our lives. I opened my eyes to what He wanted me to do. I asked Him to open specific doors. He didn’t. Instead, He opened others. He opened the doors that would lead to happiness and rest. The only way to describe that period of transition is to say I was like a small boat that had been through a terrible storm. I had fought the storm so much, that now that it was over, I was broken apart and unable to guide myself anywhere. I drifted and let the current (God) take me wherever it wanted to. Salvagers (my family) caught me in the current as I washed ashore and started the mending process.

So NOW, we’re HERE, in Alabama with family, new friends, and a new job. Financially, I am better off than I’ve been in years! I have a simple budget and we stick to it. I pay tithes. It feels so good to give back to God what He has trusted me with. And every month, He’s provided for our every need! Yes, my family helps us out. But I don’t ask for it. And I know we could make it without their help… but they sure make it easier! But we couldn't make it without their love, friendship, and support. God knew what He was doing when He created family! That’s a blog for another day!

Maybe I will keep this up. Even if no one reads it, it’s therapeutic for me! But, maybe, someone will read it. Someone who needs to know that there is life after abuse. There is hope. There is actually a very good life! Especially when Christ is the center of it!